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| Silent Cosmos and the Ways of the World |
Cosmos is the only cat I ever was so inspired by that I wrote a poem for him.
He came to me in a rather unusual way. It was 2001 I think, and I was working 100+ hours a week, very stressed out and exhausted. One day, completely out of the blue, I was overwhelmed with a feeling I blurted out to my assistant: "I really want to go to the local animal storage place and see if they have an adult male cat!"
I couldn't believe I heard myself say that. First off, although I do believe in being open to adopting adults, I would usually choose a kitten. Secondly, I would always choose a female cat, I am biased that way. Thirdly, I had a house of cats already -- the LAST kind of cat I would voluntarily choose to add to an existing house full of cats would be an adult male, as they are the most likely to have (or cause) problems with the others!
It seemed very weird to me and I said so. But, the feeling wouldn't go away. It bothered me a great deal all day. The next day, I decided it was the time to go see if maybe such an animal were available, but circumstance prevented it until the end of the day, and then the animal control fellow wasn't around.
I need to explain that our city does not have a 'humane society'. Or if it does, it did not then. Animals here have about 3 days to be 'found' by owners before they are either put to sleep or sent out to one of the outlying rural farms that usually tend to starve animals in the hopes that they will eat the local rats, mice and snakes. It also doesn't have any real facility for it. There is one long room, which is filled with cages floor to ceiling and a walkway down the side. Usually, at least half are filled, and most with dogs. If there are any cats -- which is rare, actually, except for an occasional wild bunch of kittens -- they are in a cage in the same room, the upper level in front. That noise of the dogs barking in this room that echoes like a bathroom is DEAFENING. It's a total nightmare for any cat. The police officer that runs that told me he usually tries to get any cats that happen to come in, out within a couple days for the sake of their sanity. But, there are seldom cats there.
So, that was a Friday. I had to wait until Monday.
I called Monday and left a message (I knew enough to yell into the answering machine, as he has to hear it over the dogs!) and then went that afternoon to see if he had any cats at all, let alone an adult male.
When I got there he said, "Amazingly, I actually DO have an adult male in right now, and I am SO GLAD that you want this cat because he is SUCH a GREAT cat!" He told me the story of the cat.
The cat had belonged to a family for probably 5-6 years or so, since kittenhood. And then one day the family packed up and left -- abandoning the cat behind. (People like that just make me want to..... grrrr!) So he was lonely and not used to being on his own, trying to forage food, getting in lots of fights for territory in trying to find food, and getting skinnier fast.
A man who had lived in an apartment across the street for years, knew the cat. He had often petted it over the years, and had talked to the family about it several times. He felt so sorry for it that he finally began putting some food out for it. He wasn't allowed to have animals, so he tried to keep it under wraps so his manager wouldn't notice, and he couldn't let it in even when it was miserably hot or freezing outside. But finally his manager DID notice, and told him if he saw the cat hanging around a week from then, he would evict the man for having a pet.
So the man called the officer who ran the city function that picked up stray animals. He did that Thursday -- the day I'd had that overwhelming urge. The officer was supposed to pick him up Friday, and when I went to get him, he was out to do the pickup, but the cat hadn't showed up so it didn't happen. When the officer came to get the cat, the man gave him the cat whom he'd tempted inside, and explained his story to him. They both agreed that it was a very mature and affectionate and "cool" cat and it was such a shame that first its family had abandoned him, and then once he finally found another almost-home, now he had to get taken from that too.
The officer told me, "It seemed impossible to hope that anybody would show up within two days and actually WANT to adopt "an adult male cat" -- I was so pleased when I heard your message!"
So funny enough, I had forgotten my checkbook at home, and I didn't have quite enough cash to pay the cat's fee. I was a few dollars short. I was digging through my purse for change when the officer found enough change and a dollar bill of his OWN to add so it could happen!
I took him home and I named him Cosmos, for the Night Sky, because he was pure black with just a little bit of star-white on his chest. I put him in the garage during the night while all the other cats were in the house (we had a couple others then -- and a rabbit!) and during the day I put them all out and brought him into the house, so they could all get used to each others' smell.
When I would open the garage door, he wouldn't come in unless I went out and got him and brought him in to sit by me, in the back room that was my office at the time (I was doing computer programming and project management back then). Once I did, he wouldn't leave me except to the litterbox or food.
When I finally brought all the other cats and he together, I thought that there would be a real problem. But there wasn't. Even though he was a gnarly old tomcat, with scars and fight-notched ears, he was a perfect gentleman to the other cats. And every time we have added another cat to our household, it has been Cos (as we call him) who finally makes friends with it and "shepherds" it and ends up sleeping curled up with it and being nice to it -- even the boy kitty. Even the rabbit! Cosmos sat patiently, if warily, while our rabbit sniffed around him and he didn't move a muscle until the bunny put his nose directly into Cosmos's nose -- at which point he slapped it upside the head, haha! -- but otherwise didn't move, and didn't pursue it.
So about a year later when we got another cat I realized that unusually for me, I had never taken him to the vet to get shots and such. We'd had our "primary" cat (a female) die and when I went to put Cosmos in the cat carrier to take him to the vet, I realized that it was the box I had put Yummy in (the cat who'd died) -- and he could still smell all that!
After having been abandoned horribly once, and then betrayed by the guy he thought was his friend who only brought him in to pet him to give him to some fellow who took him away and stuck him in a cage... now the family he finally thought he might open up his heart to, put him in "the death box" and was taking him somewhere!
The vet I use is outside town and quite a drive. I promised him over and over again, all the way to the vet's, "It is OK. You are coming home! I am bringing you RIGHT HOME after this! Baby nothing will happen to you, I PROMISE! I promise it will be ok! I promise nothing bad is going to happen to you!"
So I get him to the vet who says, "He has a serious case of Feline AIDS. He needs to be put down."
I refused. I said, "My grandmother is diabetic and we don't kill her for it, sheesh! He is not in any pain to my knowledge." The vet said "Well, theoretically he could give it to other cats." I said, "I will immunize them and hope for the best, and if I am wrong, or if someone else doesn't immunize their cats from this incredibly common illness, then that is just the way it is. He is FAMILY." The vet said, "I don't want to see him eventually get sick or be in pain, it is tragic when people don't want to harm their pets and so they suffer instead. I'd say he is old, maybe 7 to 9 years old by those fangs, already."
I said, "He is my friend, and I promised him that no harm would come to him here and I would take him back home. If he gets to seeming very sick or in pain, I will bring him in, but until then, I am taking him home." And so I did.
If ever there were an animal SO SENTIENT that you could almost believe they were "an enchanted prince," it is Cosmos. I love him more than any of our cats, even though I love them all. I don't know how to put it into words, although the poem was an attempt of sorts.
08/28/02 7:07am
Silent Cosmos and the Ways of the World
He was abandoned.
After years, his familyjust moved away without him.His grief was as silent ashis paw-steps, hunting for survival.
A surprisingly heavy bundle
of solid, furry muscled black grace.
His self-restraint over instinct matches
his maturity–; too odd for words.
He watches like a thoughtful human,
his sentience overwhelming form.
He could be one of those enchanted princes
immortal in fur.
The last human he owned
had him taken to the pound, where
he called for me to come get him.
He’d been just another inconvenience.
Did he find me? Or I him?
He accepts my fawning love,
not trusting a human to loyalty
but, pleased with the small favor
of having us for awhile.
A tragi-comic blood sport of grace
I am honored to call my friend.
He came to me in a rather unusual way. It was 2001 I think, and I was working 100+ hours a week, very stressed out and exhausted. One day, completely out of the blue, I was overwhelmed with a feeling I blurted out to my assistant: "I really want to go to the local animal storage place and see if they have an adult male cat!"
I couldn't believe I heard myself say that. First off, although I do believe in being open to adopting adults, I would usually choose a kitten. Secondly, I would always choose a female cat, I am biased that way. Thirdly, I had a house of cats already -- the LAST kind of cat I would voluntarily choose to add to an existing house full of cats would be an adult male, as they are the most likely to have (or cause) problems with the others!
It seemed very weird to me and I said so. But, the feeling wouldn't go away. It bothered me a great deal all day. The next day, I decided it was the time to go see if maybe such an animal were available, but circumstance prevented it until the end of the day, and then the animal control fellow wasn't around.
I need to explain that our city does not have a 'humane society'. Or if it does, it did not then. Animals here have about 3 days to be 'found' by owners before they are either put to sleep or sent out to one of the outlying rural farms that usually tend to starve animals in the hopes that they will eat the local rats, mice and snakes. It also doesn't have any real facility for it. There is one long room, which is filled with cages floor to ceiling and a walkway down the side. Usually, at least half are filled, and most with dogs. If there are any cats -- which is rare, actually, except for an occasional wild bunch of kittens -- they are in a cage in the same room, the upper level in front. That noise of the dogs barking in this room that echoes like a bathroom is DEAFENING. It's a total nightmare for any cat. The police officer that runs that told me he usually tries to get any cats that happen to come in, out within a couple days for the sake of their sanity. But, there are seldom cats there.
So, that was a Friday. I had to wait until Monday.
I called Monday and left a message (I knew enough to yell into the answering machine, as he has to hear it over the dogs!) and then went that afternoon to see if he had any cats at all, let alone an adult male.
When I got there he said, "Amazingly, I actually DO have an adult male in right now, and I am SO GLAD that you want this cat because he is SUCH a GREAT cat!" He told me the story of the cat.
The cat had belonged to a family for probably 5-6 years or so, since kittenhood. And then one day the family packed up and left -- abandoning the cat behind. (People like that just make me want to..... grrrr!) So he was lonely and not used to being on his own, trying to forage food, getting in lots of fights for territory in trying to find food, and getting skinnier fast.
A man who had lived in an apartment across the street for years, knew the cat. He had often petted it over the years, and had talked to the family about it several times. He felt so sorry for it that he finally began putting some food out for it. He wasn't allowed to have animals, so he tried to keep it under wraps so his manager wouldn't notice, and he couldn't let it in even when it was miserably hot or freezing outside. But finally his manager DID notice, and told him if he saw the cat hanging around a week from then, he would evict the man for having a pet.
So the man called the officer who ran the city function that picked up stray animals. He did that Thursday -- the day I'd had that overwhelming urge. The officer was supposed to pick him up Friday, and when I went to get him, he was out to do the pickup, but the cat hadn't showed up so it didn't happen. When the officer came to get the cat, the man gave him the cat whom he'd tempted inside, and explained his story to him. They both agreed that it was a very mature and affectionate and "cool" cat and it was such a shame that first its family had abandoned him, and then once he finally found another almost-home, now he had to get taken from that too.
The officer told me, "It seemed impossible to hope that anybody would show up within two days and actually WANT to adopt "an adult male cat" -- I was so pleased when I heard your message!"
So funny enough, I had forgotten my checkbook at home, and I didn't have quite enough cash to pay the cat's fee. I was a few dollars short. I was digging through my purse for change when the officer found enough change and a dollar bill of his OWN to add so it could happen!
I took him home and I named him Cosmos, for the Night Sky, because he was pure black with just a little bit of star-white on his chest. I put him in the garage during the night while all the other cats were in the house (we had a couple others then -- and a rabbit!) and during the day I put them all out and brought him into the house, so they could all get used to each others' smell.
When I would open the garage door, he wouldn't come in unless I went out and got him and brought him in to sit by me, in the back room that was my office at the time (I was doing computer programming and project management back then). Once I did, he wouldn't leave me except to the litterbox or food.
When I finally brought all the other cats and he together, I thought that there would be a real problem. But there wasn't. Even though he was a gnarly old tomcat, with scars and fight-notched ears, he was a perfect gentleman to the other cats. And every time we have added another cat to our household, it has been Cos (as we call him) who finally makes friends with it and "shepherds" it and ends up sleeping curled up with it and being nice to it -- even the boy kitty. Even the rabbit! Cosmos sat patiently, if warily, while our rabbit sniffed around him and he didn't move a muscle until the bunny put his nose directly into Cosmos's nose -- at which point he slapped it upside the head, haha! -- but otherwise didn't move, and didn't pursue it.
So about a year later when we got another cat I realized that unusually for me, I had never taken him to the vet to get shots and such. We'd had our "primary" cat (a female) die and when I went to put Cosmos in the cat carrier to take him to the vet, I realized that it was the box I had put Yummy in (the cat who'd died) -- and he could still smell all that!
After having been abandoned horribly once, and then betrayed by the guy he thought was his friend who only brought him in to pet him to give him to some fellow who took him away and stuck him in a cage... now the family he finally thought he might open up his heart to, put him in "the death box" and was taking him somewhere!
The vet I use is outside town and quite a drive. I promised him over and over again, all the way to the vet's, "It is OK. You are coming home! I am bringing you RIGHT HOME after this! Baby nothing will happen to you, I PROMISE! I promise it will be ok! I promise nothing bad is going to happen to you!"
So I get him to the vet who says, "He has a serious case of Feline AIDS. He needs to be put down."
I refused. I said, "My grandmother is diabetic and we don't kill her for it, sheesh! He is not in any pain to my knowledge." The vet said "Well, theoretically he could give it to other cats." I said, "I will immunize them and hope for the best, and if I am wrong, or if someone else doesn't immunize their cats from this incredibly common illness, then that is just the way it is. He is FAMILY." The vet said, "I don't want to see him eventually get sick or be in pain, it is tragic when people don't want to harm their pets and so they suffer instead. I'd say he is old, maybe 7 to 9 years old by those fangs, already."
I said, "He is my friend, and I promised him that no harm would come to him here and I would take him back home. If he gets to seeming very sick or in pain, I will bring him in, but until then, I am taking him home." And so I did.
If ever there were an animal SO SENTIENT that you could almost believe they were "an enchanted prince," it is Cosmos. I love him more than any of our cats, even though I love them all. I don't know how to put it into words, although the poem was an attempt of sorts.
08/28/02 7:07am
Silent Cosmos and the Ways of the World
He was abandoned.
After years, his familyjust moved away without him.His grief was as silent ashis paw-steps, hunting for survival.
A surprisingly heavy bundle
of solid, furry muscled black grace.
His self-restraint over instinct matches
his maturity–; too odd for words.
He watches like a thoughtful human,
his sentience overwhelming form.
He could be one of those enchanted princes
immortal in fur.
The last human he owned
had him taken to the pound, where
he called for me to come get him.
He’d been just another inconvenience.
Did he find me? Or I him?
He accepts my fawning love,
not trusting a human to loyalty
but, pleased with the small favor
of having us for awhile.
A tragi-comic blood sport of grace
I am honored to call my friend.
1 comment:
Awesome. Looks like you and Cosmos touched each others lives immeasurably. An inspiration for kindness and compassion!
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